Apply to be a UGW...

I started this article, wondering what I should write on.

Then it hit me. What is the one thing half the world loves?

That’s right. Bad grammar.

So, think YOU’RE the Ultimate Grammar Whore (UGW)? Or, maybe, you WANT to be one!

Well then, have no fear! Let Waffles and Pancakes help you!

A popular UGW belief

Now, being a UGW is no small feat. It takes years of patience, to master the art of ruining sentences, punctuations, idioms, and changing the laws of tenses altogether!

The title cannot just be bestowed on anyone. No amount of education, private schooling, strict teachers and books can guarantee you this position.

WE, are currently catering to the needs of 6,549,865,764 UGWs, and not one of our customers, has a single complaint! :D

How does one BECOME a UGW, you ask?

Well, to be a textbook UGW one needs to have a degree in the lifelong abuse of the English language, and the ability to NEVER, EVER spelling “pneumonia” without the help of auto correct.

However, if the crime is serious, and pathetic enough, we may be able to promote you right up. Your errors would be overviewed by the Board of Grammar Whore. But with our help, you’re a shoo in! ;)

To train to become a UGW, you must,

·         You must, at all times, make use of words such as, “YOLO”, “Swag” and always, ALWAYS quote Cristiano Ronaldo.

·         Talk like a black man.

·         Never, ever spell full words. “No whum sayin?”

·         Even if the word is as small as “and”, ruin it by abbreviating it to just “n”.

·         Live by the code of txt messaging.

Cristiano Ronaldo: one of the UGW's most popular role models

Or you can just send in your Mastercard card numbers, VISA card numbers, cheques along with an application, and we’ll ship the certificate, along with our few extra bonus goodies!

HURRY! OFFER FOR LIMITED PERIOD, ONLY.